"... Their love was like forbidden fruit: tasty."

The annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest challenges entrants to pen the world's most atrocious first line to a novel. The winners included the bl;og title above , and these ditties...

"Tasty waffle?" Jim suggested alluringly, prodding me with the afore-mentioned breakfast food

My English teacher, Mrs. Robinson, always said to start in the middle of something interesting, so here's Peter encased in 50 cubic feet of Jell-O.

Critics are calling me a fat cat, viciously ignoring the fact that I've been working out.

I am pleased to announce that, although attitudes have improved immensely, the beatings will continue.